Who are you?

When doing a little spring cleaning I found a couple of folded up pieces of paper in my old computer bag:

Give Truth; Live Truth. Be Patient and Love. We all hurt and no one person can fully understand another. We all live together, but also we live by ourselves. Our minds must stay open. Open to the understanding that we are all different. And yet despite the differences we continue to need and to have desires that are just the same as the one who seems the most different of them all.

Who are you to say that your faith, that your beliefs, that your life is “the way”. I hope it is the way for you, but it is probably not the way for me. Is that not what makes this a beautiful world? Don’t judge me, I won’t judge you, but I will ask questions, because I want to know you. I want to know that gets you up in the morning. I want to know what gives you that sun on your face, cool breeze, content all over feeling. And I want you to know why I am the way I am.

Highlights of 2009...

Ups and downs, highs and lows; 2009 was a year with plenty to remember.
Here are a few (well, maybe a lot) of my favorite moments:

2009 began in new orleans celebrating with aubs and carl


just a month later, tom and kels made a trip down to get a taste of the big easy


then it was goodbye 23 and hello to 24


march brought mardi gras 2009


and parades for days


a few extra days off sent me flying to seattle to see the nunley's


to play in the snow


and to have a SPUG reunion


back in NOLA, KJ made a stop on her way down to Florida


and we realized how scary it is to row by an 8 foot alligator in an unsteady little canoe


my students continued to challenge me, but i tried to focus on the positive


and visitors always made everything a little brighter


and in the middle of it all, I was accepted to graduate school


so, in the spring, we took every chance we got to enjoy the sunshine and culture that is new orleans:

at the pool


and sailing over lake ponchartrain


and by joining a 2nd line with the mardi gras indians


enjoying our sunday night family dinners at nirvana


and at the st patty's day parade


and even in the blazing heat of jazz fest


and then before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye:

to teach for america


to my favorite neighbors


and to the ladies of burdette


so I packed up and dad and I adventured across the country visiting friends and national parks along the way


and then I was home in the northwest, with family


and old friends all around


i was lucky enough to find out that it really takes a special guy to buy a plane ticket that leaves 12 hours later, just for a visit


grad school kept me on my toes with a summer filled with intense course work


followed by a celebration with the ladies, vegas style


then T & K took us back to the ranch in wisdom, montana


and to my first rodeo


and on plenty of horse-riding adventures


then I found myself back at SPU as an assistant coach of the SPU Gymnastics team


halloween was spent as a jazzercise instructor with mario and luigi


after a long three month countdown, I had a special date during jack's thanksgiving trip to the NW


then a trip back to New Orleans was necessary, to see my old students


and friends


and most importantly, to be with this guy - in new orleans, then adventuring up north to meet his family in Indiana


a trip down to oregon was filled with ugly christmas sweaters


and a cross-country skiing adventure with michelle and flynne


and finally, the year ended, just as it begun - celebrating with wonderful friends, Aubrie and Carl - this time in New Mexico at their wedding!

Lights and Songs.

There is something about the sparkle of Christmas lights and the ring of Christmas carols that makes me sad. Well, maybe as my mom says, emotional. Yes, Emotional. Emotional in a way that I am so happy that I could cry because I was born into a family that overflows with love. Tears that recognize the luck I have had, the opportunities, the education. But it also makes me so sad that I could cry. There is something about this season that makes me acutely aware of our totally unfair and unjust world. It makes me want to do whatever it takes to maybe just make one little dent towards the good in the world – towards peace, towards equal opportunities, towards safety, and love, and acceptance. Yes, definitely acceptance – we need more of that.


these are the gifts that were under my tree last year:

the future

Summer courses are over and I am more confused than ever about what the future holds. This time though I am not nervous or anxious – I am content. I do not need to have a vision of my life in ten years, five years, or even after this year. I think this contentment comes from two strong realizations. One, my life has never gone as I have planned it to. Where I though I would be and where I am, are distant places. Two, my life has worked out in amazing and surprising ways. I know I am incredibly blessed – I have been given opportunities and had experiences that have challenged my thinking, increased my faith, and brought clarity to the broad vision and purpose of my life. I don’t think I will ever be able to fully explain my personal experience as a student-athlete. I know that I cannot verbalize my years in New Orleans (although I’ve tried so many times) and how it has influenced me and my views in such a deep way. Now I add graduated school. Working closely with adults from a diverse background in athletics. 27 of us are now spread around the country – interning in all different areas, gaining practical experience and hopefully finding a niche in the wide open world. And another page turns…

Flyin' By...

WOW - half way done with my summer term already! Its crazy how fast this is going and how much we are learning. I feel like I am learning about everything I ever wondered about being a collegiate athlete and about so many things that I never even thought about. I am really enjoying the professors and all of my classmates (well, most of them). Everyone has such a unique perspective and personality. They did such an excellent job creating diversity in our cohort - just graduated, professionals, coaches, future ADs, DI, DII, DII, married, kids, all ages from 22-35, collegiate athletes...The mix really makes it interesting.

A bunch of us spent 4th of July "camping"/sleeping in tents in some ones backyard (clearly, you can see the house in the picture).

Cliff Notes from Grad School: Week One

- It’s a little cold in Seattle, I mean, maybe I was talking up summers in the Northwest a little too much, but seriously? In the 50’s at night and a high of 70 degrees – I am ready for a little something more.
- I have been riding my bike to school and each day seems to be a new adventure. I have some getting into shape to do – the 4.5 mile fairly flat ride should not make my legs as tired as they have beenJ As a hear “On your left” over and over I try to make excuses for myself – I don’t have a fancy bike or but I am carrying a 20 pound bag, but really I just need to dig in and get stronger. For now all I feel is the wind of the bikes flying by and the view of these old men with white hair and tan skin. Maybe by the end of the summer I will have as nice of calves as they do.
- On the way home on Tuesday a rat ran in front of my bike. I was less disturbed by the fact that a rat had actually just crossed the path in front of me and more distracted by the fact that this rat seemed to have a very kinked tail. Do rats play chicken with the bikes? And if they do, this one needs some practice.
- So far my all of the professors, directors, guest speakers, and fellow-students have been great. How inspiring and productive it can be to have such a diverse group of ages, backgrounds, and experiences come together with a common passion. NFL players, Olympic medalists, DI athletes, athletics directors, academic service advisors…AWESOME, but a bit intimidating.
- Now back to work – a paper to write then 5 articles and 7 chapters in my textbook to read, better start crossing something off that list.
- So, I wrote this originally entry on Friday, but because I don’t have internet at my place yet I never posted it. The thing is, now it is Monday morning and I have to pull back on my weather comments – this weekend was wonderful! The sun was out, clouds were gone, and the words “I love this place” continued to slip out.
- Friday night our IAL (intercollegiate athletic leadership) cohort had a happy hour then I went over to the Whalen’s for a nice family birthday for Tom. Saturday morning Carlo and I went rollerblading at Aliki, maybe the most beautiful place to view the city. The rest of the afternoon was spent reading and napping (maybe a little too much of the napping…) I met up with Carlo again at a hockey BBQ and was introduced to a bunch of the guys he plays with – good and fun people. After that I went to see the Hangover with Tom, Cory, and Zach. Sunday I woke up early, wrote my paper, went to church, met with my new prof, did some reading, talked to friends, and made some pizzas that I ate with Linda (my mama housemate) and Jessie (a new friend from IAL). The point is, it was a great weekend…
- Week Two, accounting – now this will be interesting.

Questioning Love and Hate.

How do I teach love? Do you love because you have been loved? Do you hate because that is what you know? If you know both hate and love, which will prevail? And why do hate-filled words and actions show easiest to those you love the most? What is the magic recipe for those kids who do know so much hate, but break through the cycle using their hurt as motivation to spread love and joy and encouragement? Do my students know how much love I have for them? Do they know how much it breaks my heart when they say such ugly things to each other? How can I ever know? How can I be a model of love, unconditionally? Just as I wish the words would be carefully spoken from student to student, I must be careful to speak only with love. For when the patients dwindles and the temper heats up my words fill quickly with hate just the same. I bite my tongue and change my tone. I forget my ego and remember all we can accomplish comes in baby steps. I speak to the love I have and the love that will carry me though. And even when chaos muffles my words I will keep speaking because that is simply the only way anyone can ever hear me.