Building Strength

I have felt so many emotions in the past four days. It is so hard to explain all that has gone on and the emotions that have come with it. I am praying to God that after tomorrow all my life will go back to “normal” but unfortunately no one really knows. Late Thursday night and early Friday morning my housemates and I packed up our important documents, notes/cards/pictures and other mementos and a suitcase full of clothes. We gathered food, filled up an extra gas can, cleaned out our refrigerator, took everything off our porch, and closed all of our blinds. We all had to work on Friday so we packed up the cars and headed to school. Courtney dropped me off because I chose to leave my car – it is parked in the drive beside our houses because that seemed like the highest ground. The whole day my mind was on one thing Hurricane Gustav and wondering how bad could it be. My students asked me a lot about it, and about Katrina. They have so many confused thoughts – most of them do not understand. Many of them think it is a woman and that she may come back. It is hard to explain that she is gone and will not come back, but we never know what will happen when another Hurricane hits. My kids are so young that many of their first memories are from the tragedies that followed the hurricane. While most of my students watched a movie at the end of the day a few helped me to secure my classroom as best as I could - moving all furniture away from the windows, turning bookshelves towards the walls, and covering all the computers and other technology with plastic. Will it be enough? Will our portable building be able to withstand hurricane force winds? Will it stay in place with 10 + inches of rain that may come? You try to think positively and be optimistic, but it is only natural to question what life will be like if all of this is totally swept away. After school I had a few minutes to gather important things from my classroom and say my “be safe’s” to the other staff at my school. A wonderful woman named Ms. Wiltz, who also teaches third grade, has become very motherly to me over the past year. She has been a mentor for me as a teacher and a supporter for me as I have transitioned into a new culture. Through it all I have never once felt judged by her, as I often do from other staff members at my school. She gave me her final advice for evacuation and her very optimistic thoughts and a great mom hug. I broke down and wept in her loving arms – I cried for the community and all the people who have gone through this before and I cried for my students who are so scared and confused and I cried because if by the slight chance it hits us hard, New Orleans may not be able rebuild this time around.

And ironically on the third anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, we began our evacuation. Courtney and I had an uneventful drive to Pensacola, happy to beat the traffic and be east of the predicted path. We stayed at our friend Dan’s place. He was a wonderful guest and helped us to keep our minds off of the storm with some great food, good conversation and some live music. Saturday morning we got up and traveled farther east to Fort Walton Beach and that is where we are now. We are staying with Courtney’s aunt, uncle and two little cousins. Today we went to Destin, had lunch, walked on the beach and did a little shopping. There was one rain storm caused by an outer band of Gustav, but it didn’t last long. While we were out we ran into two friends who had also evacuated. We have watched the news a lot. Trying to take in important updates, but not make ourselves too nervous. Gustav is quickly approaching thought to make landfall Monday morning. It is currently a category 3 hurricane with winds up to 115 miles and hour. And again…we just wait….and keep praying.

Gustav

A hurricane is heading our way. We don't know exactly where it will end up, but it is very likely to head straight up the Gulf of Mexico. Yesterday and today it was in Haiti and it is heading towards the west side of Cuba currently. Some people are very worried, others not so much. I just don't know what to think or to do. Make an evacuation plan, prepare for the worst, and pray - that is all I have come up with so far. I went to Wal-Mart today and got a case of water, gatorade, and canned food. I heard school may be canceled on Friday and a mandatory evacuation could be in announced as early as tomorrow evening. It is hard to just wait, I found my mind wondering a lot while I was teaching. A few of my kids asked me about it, but I tried not to get them all worked up. I mean, no one really knows what is to come. Here is a map of the path it has drawn and what is projected. Keep NOLA in your thoughts...I am not sure if it can weather another big one.

Here we go again...

Tomorrow we kick off year two. I am so excited and blown away that this day is here already. I don't have time to say much because I still have things to do tonight. But I am feeling optimistic and ready to take on the challenge. Summer really did a lot for me. It was wonderful to see all family and friends that I was blessed to spend time with and travel all around the country. What an adventure I had. And now I am back to the grind looking forward to doing my little part in this broken city.

Peace to you.

today on the playground...

...I got on the see-saw with one of my students and got stuck up in the air.

Back by popular demand….

A little glimpse of an afternoon in Miss Sullivan’s circus:

Student one: Crafting a big sign that reads “Jay Tee is MAN” tapping it on the wall and sitting with his legs in a butterfly looking at his creation.

Student two: Balling up paper and throwing it at my feet.

Student three: Reading out loud with me every time I turn my back to him.

Student four: Listening and following along as I read.

Student five: Gazing across the room at student six, the girl he “loves”

Student six: Pulling out chunks of her weave.

Student seven: Holding his hands in front of his face and counting his fingers out loud, with no idea that anyone is looking at him like he is crazy.

Student eight: Throwing a piece of fuzz up in the air and catching it.

Student nine: Moving chair directly behind me as I write on the board so when I turn around she is less than a foot away, with her ears plugged by the way.

Student ten: Laughing in his wheelchair because the class is out of control.

Student eleven: Suspended and sitting at home because he punched someone in the face.

Student twelve: Sitting at home because her mom and mom’s boyfriend punched another one of my student’s moms in the face.

Student thirteen: Coloring me a sign that says “I love Sarah”

Student fourteen: Counting down the 14 days of school until SUMMER!

From an article I read:

Who will tell the people? We are not who we think we are. We are living on borrowed time and borrowed dimes. We still have all the potential for greatness, but only if we get back to work on our country.

I don’t know if Barack Obama can lead that, but the notion that the idealism he has inspired in so many young people doesn’t matter is dead wrong. “Of course, hope alone is not enough,” says Tim Shriver, chairman of Special Olympics, “but it’s not trivial. It’s not trivial to inspire people to want to get up and do something with someone else.”

It is especially not trivial now, because millions of Americans are dying to be enlisted — enlisted to fix education, enlisted to research renewable energy, enlisted to repair our infrastructure, enlisted to help others. Look at the kids lining up to join Teach for America. They want our country to matter again. They want it to be about building wealth and dignity — big profits and big purposes. When we just do one, we are less than the sum of our parts. When we do both, said Shriver, “no one can touch us.”

Terrible Tuesday Strikes Back

It’s one of those days as “Terrible Tuesdays” so often seem to be. I had a bad day with my class and then everything else in life seems to be reflected in this dark shadow. Dramatic I know, but that’s just the way it is sometimes. I feel bad about my class, not teaching them enough, not being able to control them. I feel like I am not living up to TFA standards, I wonder how and if I will ever be good at this. I feel like if I leave after two years I won’t be satisfied with the job I did and feel guilty for coming in and out of this broken system so quickly as if I am giving up on it. Am I wasting my talents here? Could I be better used in a different way? This is a crazy journey and I just have to keep holding on.

We got our standardized test results back last week. I don’t have anything to compare it to, so really I don’t know what to think. I was disappointed that some of my students didn’t do better, when I know that they are smarter than they showed. But I was also happy with the scores many of my kids came out with.

And after all….It is nice to hear quality leaders complimenting TFA:

"People were saying, 'Don't expect growth the first year,' " Mr. Vallas(RSD Superintendent) said. "We saw growth the first year." Mr. Vallas attributed many of the improvements in testing to the new teachers. "The biggest contributing factor was the quality of the instructors," he said. Classes are smaller, many of the teachers are youthful imports brought in by groups like Teach for America, principals have been reshuffled or removed, school-hours remedial programs have been intensified, and after-school programs to help students increased."

ADAM NOSSITER (NY Times) Changes at New Orleans Schools Bring Gains in Test Scores